What Is Neurodiversity in Adults? Leveling Up Your Knowledge for More Connection

If your adult loved one is or may be neurodivergent, it can be a relationship game changer to understand how their medical or self-diagnosis fits into the growing knowledge from other people’s lived experience.

What we learned when our loved one was a child likely needs an update now that they are an adult. Keeping current about neurodiversity is a great way to show your loved one you want to understand their reality, which helps them feel safe, loved, and respected as an adult. Social media has given us a powerful way to learn directly from people with autism, ADHD, and other ways thinking, feeling, and behaving. Understanding more about terms used to describe neurodiversity can have a tremendous positive effect on our communication, relationships, and the social, behavioral , and health communities we participate in.

Even the term “neurodiversity” itself is pretty new to many of us. So, what does it mean?

Neurodiversity is not a medical term or diagnosis. It just means that people’s brains and bodies process the world differently. Neurodiversity holds that neurological differences are just a feature of humanity, resulting in individuals with different strengths and challenges.

Neurodiversity includes both neurotypical and neurodivergent thinking and behaviors. An estimated 80% of us are likely “neurotypical” which means we naturally process information and behave in ways considered typical within our culture. Up to 20% of us are likely "neurodivergent" which means we naturally process information and behave differently than the majority in our culture.

It may help to think of neurodivergent conditions as cousins that can share similarities but are not the same. Not everyone agrees on specifics or even labels used, but types of neurodivergence can include:

The more we learn about neurodivergent traits, the better we can understand the gifts it can bring as well as the challenges. Here are just a few:

Most people are aware of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), but most of the focus in on children with ASD. Adults with ASD usually struggle with communication, social interaction, and processing sensory information from touch, noise, or lighting. Despite challenges, adults with ASD have unique strengths and make important contributions in creative thinking, pattern recognition, attention to detail, and complex problem-solving. In 2013, Asperger's stopped being a standalone diagnosis and became part of the ASD diagnosis. Because many people with autism also have ADHD, the term "AuDHD" is now used sometimes to combine the terms. People not on the autism spectrum may be described as “allistic” or neurotypical.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can cause difficulty with focus, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. However, ADHD is also linked to excellent multitasking skills, creativity, and spontaneity.

Dyslexia is a learning disorder that affects reading and writing ability. Dyslexic individuals can struggle with conventional learning mhods but often show exceptional spatial reasoning, problem-solving, and creativity skills.

Tourette Syndrome causes involuntary movements and vocalizations. Other conditions like OCD, ADHD, and anxiety disorders often co-occur with Tourette's. People with Tourette's are often known as highly creative, sensitive, and empathetic.

Terms are always evolving. Self-advocates, professionals, and others may not always agree on how terms are used. Decades ago, disability advocates normalized “people-first” language to reflect that a person’s disability is only part of who they are, not their entire identity. For example, you may see “individual with autism” used instead of “an autistic.” However, some self-advocates now prefer the terms autistic or "austist" to reflect that their autism is inseparable from who they are rather than a medical condition to be cured. Language also can be tricky because terms used for medical diagnosis cannot change as quickly as those used in everyday conversation. But here's the thing: it's almost always going to be more important to connect as people than to never, ever use the wrong term. When in doubt, ask your loved one what they prefer and be open to their own changing understanding as well. You'll learn and deepen your connection at the same time.

Neurodiversity is a term that celebrates all of the different ways human beings perceive, think about, and behave in the world around them. While people with neurodivergence face real challenges, their unique strengths and abilities can be amazing gifts as well. By embracing neurodiversity, we create a more inclusive and supportive world where everyone can thrive.